Click the picture below to watch
an "analytical presentation" of the
lyrics (poem) I created
for my Comp class last semester.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Wrath of the Scorned One Night Stand (Profanity alert)
I hate you,
You piece of shit.
Don't tell me to get over it.
You have no heart, so you took mine.
I fell for every bullshit line.
How could I have been so blind?
I vomit at your name.
I hate you.
But you don't care.
You’re wounding someone else somewhere.
You don't see the tears I cry;
Despondency I feel inside.
I really hope you fucking die,
You pathetic waste of verve.
I hate you.
Justly I do.
I've one last thing to say to you:
Next time you want to have some fun,
and you decide to use someone,
just remember when you're done,
that you're a shitty lay.
You piece of shit.
Don't tell me to get over it.
You have no heart, so you took mine.
I fell for every bullshit line.
How could I have been so blind?
I vomit at your name.
I hate you.
But you don't care.
You’re wounding someone else somewhere.
You don't see the tears I cry;
Despondency I feel inside.
I really hope you fucking die,
You pathetic waste of verve.
I hate you.
Justly I do.
I've one last thing to say to you:
Next time you want to have some fun,
and you decide to use someone,
just remember when you're done,
that you're a shitty lay.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Behind Closed Doors-What Happened to Miss Emily? (Final Draft)
April McCleary
Mrs. S. Aiken
English 1102-45
October 2, 2009
Behind Closed Doors- What Happened to Miss Emily?
A lonely, frail, old woman had become so desperate for companionship that she laid in a cold, dark room, gazing into the hollow eyes of the fleshless skeleton that was all that remained of the man she loved. This is the haunting image that William Faulkner leaves his readers with in the backwards short story “A Rose for Emily.” He masterfully paints a vivid picture of a mysterious, complicated woman and the deteriorating house that mirrored her unfortunate life in a town called Jefferson. In this town, Emily Grierson became known as a “fallen monument” and an obligation following her father’s death (Faulkner 526). He had kept her isolated, unable to pursue relationships outside of her home all of her life. Although she didn’t show recognizable grief when he passed away, she refused to allow his body to be buried, insisting that he was not dead, until she was threatened with legal action. This illustrates Miss Emily’s declining mental health, which according to the story’s narrator (a Jefferson resident) ran in her family.
A sense of loyalty and obligation was put into place in 1894 by Jefferson’s Mayor, Colonel Sartoris. The old-fashioned and racist ideas of Colonel Sartoris faded over time, but the obligation to Miss Emily was passed down from generation to generation. Despite the sympathy the town seemed to hold for the woman after her over-bearing father died and left her only the house in which she resided, the younger generation was unhappy with the tax-exempt status Colonel Sartoris had granted her. They sent letters and visited her house in attempts to collect the taxes they felt she owed. Miss Emily insisted she owed nothing. She seemed to be stuck in the time of Colonel Sartoris’ term as Mayor, even challenging them to “See Colonel Sartoris,” even though the Colonel had been dead for nearly 10 years (Faulkner 527).
Not much information is given about Emily’s father, and what is said about him creates more questions than it answers. In a time when a woman’s value was not in the workplace, but in the home as a wife and mother, Emily’s father was resistant to Emily’s independence. He drove away all of her potential suitors, which the narrator attributes to the Grierson’s sense of superiority, despite the insanity that ran in the family. No mention is made of Miss Emily’s mother or any other female role model. The combination of psychiatric problems, unreasonably protective father, absent mother, and the strange way Miss Emily reacted to her father’s death leaves room for the reader to speculate. Perhaps there was some abuse, or even incest, between Emily and her father. It is possible that the town’s sense of obligation and sympathy for Emily was not only about her marital status or the fact that she was left with only an old house when her father died. Perhaps there was an unspoken suspicion about a perverted family secret.
When Miss Emily became involved with a man named Homer Barron, the town let out a momentary sigh of relief, thinking finally she would be married and would no longer be a burden on the town. Even after Barron revealed to Miss Emily that he was homosexual, she pursued him. The town’s relief soon turned to disgust as it became clear that this was a less than holy union. As everyone but Emily realized Barron would never marry her, the town’s sympathy for Emily deepened. She seemed completely oblivious to the hopelessness of the relationship as she bought expensive gifts for the man who would never love her the way she loved him. This adds to the suspicion of abuse on the part of Emily’s father, as she seemed to be drawn to an extremely unhealthy relationship with a homosexual man. She seemed to be happiest during this twisted courtship. Perhaps because of a sick, wifely obligation to her father, she thrived in unhealthy relationships.
There was only one person who remained by Miss Emily’s side. He was a servant named Tobe, and though he is mentioned several times, the reader can only form theories about who he was and the role he played in Miss Emily’s life. He let Homer Barron into Miss Emily’s home the last time Barron was ever seen alive. When Miss Emily poisoned Barron with arsenic and left his body to decompose in her home, Tobe was there. When her neighbors began to complain to the mayor about the smell as the dead man’s body decayed in an upstairs room, Tobe was there. He was there until Miss Emily died, and the people of the town curiously came to see what was inside of her mysterious, old house. Before they kicked down the door of that cold, dark, upstairs room to discover the body of Homer Barron, Tobe quietly walked out the back door of the house, and was never seen again. Tobe may not have assisted Miss Emily in the murder of Barron, but it is hard to imagine that he didn’t know what she had done. Maybe it was out of the same sympathy and sense of obligation as the rest of the town, but Tobe was a loyal servant and he kept Miss Emily’s secret.
The concluding paragraphs of the story finally reveal what happened to Homer Barron after the people of Jefferson had believed for years that he had simply abandoned Miss Emily. Although she did take his life, it wasn’t a cold-blooded act of murder. When all the details of her life are considered, it is clear that she saw it as the only way to hold on to the man that she loved. There is no indication that she had a hand in her father’s death, but she attempted to hold on to his lifeless body the same way. Miss Emily wanted to spend her life with Homer Barron, and in a sick and twisted way, she did.
Works Cited
William Faulkner. “A Rose For Emily.” Literature The Human Experience. Richard Abcarian and Marvin Klotz. Massachusetts: Bedford/St. Martins, 2007. 526-532.
Mrs. S. Aiken
English 1102-45
October 2, 2009
Behind Closed Doors- What Happened to Miss Emily?
A lonely, frail, old woman had become so desperate for companionship that she laid in a cold, dark room, gazing into the hollow eyes of the fleshless skeleton that was all that remained of the man she loved. This is the haunting image that William Faulkner leaves his readers with in the backwards short story “A Rose for Emily.” He masterfully paints a vivid picture of a mysterious, complicated woman and the deteriorating house that mirrored her unfortunate life in a town called Jefferson. In this town, Emily Grierson became known as a “fallen monument” and an obligation following her father’s death (Faulkner 526). He had kept her isolated, unable to pursue relationships outside of her home all of her life. Although she didn’t show recognizable grief when he passed away, she refused to allow his body to be buried, insisting that he was not dead, until she was threatened with legal action. This illustrates Miss Emily’s declining mental health, which according to the story’s narrator (a Jefferson resident) ran in her family.
A sense of loyalty and obligation was put into place in 1894 by Jefferson’s Mayor, Colonel Sartoris. The old-fashioned and racist ideas of Colonel Sartoris faded over time, but the obligation to Miss Emily was passed down from generation to generation. Despite the sympathy the town seemed to hold for the woman after her over-bearing father died and left her only the house in which she resided, the younger generation was unhappy with the tax-exempt status Colonel Sartoris had granted her. They sent letters and visited her house in attempts to collect the taxes they felt she owed. Miss Emily insisted she owed nothing. She seemed to be stuck in the time of Colonel Sartoris’ term as Mayor, even challenging them to “See Colonel Sartoris,” even though the Colonel had been dead for nearly 10 years (Faulkner 527).
Not much information is given about Emily’s father, and what is said about him creates more questions than it answers. In a time when a woman’s value was not in the workplace, but in the home as a wife and mother, Emily’s father was resistant to Emily’s independence. He drove away all of her potential suitors, which the narrator attributes to the Grierson’s sense of superiority, despite the insanity that ran in the family. No mention is made of Miss Emily’s mother or any other female role model. The combination of psychiatric problems, unreasonably protective father, absent mother, and the strange way Miss Emily reacted to her father’s death leaves room for the reader to speculate. Perhaps there was some abuse, or even incest, between Emily and her father. It is possible that the town’s sense of obligation and sympathy for Emily was not only about her marital status or the fact that she was left with only an old house when her father died. Perhaps there was an unspoken suspicion about a perverted family secret.
When Miss Emily became involved with a man named Homer Barron, the town let out a momentary sigh of relief, thinking finally she would be married and would no longer be a burden on the town. Even after Barron revealed to Miss Emily that he was homosexual, she pursued him. The town’s relief soon turned to disgust as it became clear that this was a less than holy union. As everyone but Emily realized Barron would never marry her, the town’s sympathy for Emily deepened. She seemed completely oblivious to the hopelessness of the relationship as she bought expensive gifts for the man who would never love her the way she loved him. This adds to the suspicion of abuse on the part of Emily’s father, as she seemed to be drawn to an extremely unhealthy relationship with a homosexual man. She seemed to be happiest during this twisted courtship. Perhaps because of a sick, wifely obligation to her father, she thrived in unhealthy relationships.
There was only one person who remained by Miss Emily’s side. He was a servant named Tobe, and though he is mentioned several times, the reader can only form theories about who he was and the role he played in Miss Emily’s life. He let Homer Barron into Miss Emily’s home the last time Barron was ever seen alive. When Miss Emily poisoned Barron with arsenic and left his body to decompose in her home, Tobe was there. When her neighbors began to complain to the mayor about the smell as the dead man’s body decayed in an upstairs room, Tobe was there. He was there until Miss Emily died, and the people of the town curiously came to see what was inside of her mysterious, old house. Before they kicked down the door of that cold, dark, upstairs room to discover the body of Homer Barron, Tobe quietly walked out the back door of the house, and was never seen again. Tobe may not have assisted Miss Emily in the murder of Barron, but it is hard to imagine that he didn’t know what she had done. Maybe it was out of the same sympathy and sense of obligation as the rest of the town, but Tobe was a loyal servant and he kept Miss Emily’s secret.
The concluding paragraphs of the story finally reveal what happened to Homer Barron after the people of Jefferson had believed for years that he had simply abandoned Miss Emily. Although she did take his life, it wasn’t a cold-blooded act of murder. When all the details of her life are considered, it is clear that she saw it as the only way to hold on to the man that she loved. There is no indication that she had a hand in her father’s death, but she attempted to hold on to his lifeless body the same way. Miss Emily wanted to spend her life with Homer Barron, and in a sick and twisted way, she did.
Works Cited
William Faulkner. “A Rose For Emily.” Literature The Human Experience. Richard Abcarian and Marvin Klotz. Massachusetts: Bedford/St. Martins, 2007. 526-532.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Behind Closed Doors-What Happened to Miss Emily? (First Draft)
April McCleary
Mrs. S. Aiken
English 1102-45
October 2, 2009
Behind Closed Doors- What Happened to Miss Emily?
A lonely, frail, old woman had become so desperate for companionship that she laid in a cold, dark room, gazing into the hollow eyes of the fleshless skeleton that was all that remained of the man she loved. This is the haunting image that William Faulkner leaves his readers with in the backwards short story “A Rose for Emily.” He masterfully paints a vivid picture of a mysterious, complicated woman and the deteriorating house that mirrored her unfortunate life in a town called Jefferson. In this town, Emily Grierson became known as a “fallen monument” and an obligation following her father’s death. He had kept her isolated, unable to pursue relationships outside of her home all of her life. Although she didn’t show recognizable grief when he passed away, she refused to allow his body to be buried, insisting that he was not dead, until she was threatened with legal action. This illustrates Miss Emily’s declining mental health, which according to the story’s narrator (a Jefferson resident) ran in her family.
A sense of loyalty and obligation was put into place in 1894 by Jefferson’s Mayor, Colonel Sartoris. The old-fashioned and racist ideas of Colonel Sartoris faded over time, but the obligation to Miss Emily was passed down from generation to generation. Despite the sympathy the town seemed to hold for the woman after her over-bearing father died and left her only the house in which she resided, the younger generation was unhappy with the tax-exempt status Colonel Sartoris had granted her. They sent letters and visited her house in attempts to collect the taxes they felt she owed. Miss Emily insisted she owed nothing. She seemed to be stuck in the time of Colonel Sartoris’ term as Mayor, even challenging them to “See Colonel Sartoris,” even though the Colonel had been dead for nearly 10 years.
Not much information is given about Emily’s father, and what is said about him creates more questions than it answers. In a time when a woman’s value was not in the workplace, but in the home as a wife and mother, Emily’s father was resistant to Emily’s independence. He drove away all of her potential suitors, which the narrator attributes to the Grierson’s sense of superiority, despite the insanity that ran in the family. No mention is made of Miss Emily’s mother or any other female role model. The combination of psychiatric problems, unreasonably protective father, absent mother, and the strange way Miss Emily reacted to her father’s death leaves room for the reader to speculate. Perhaps there was some abuse, or even incest, between Emily and her father. It is possible that the town’s sense of obligation and sympathy for Emily was not only about her marital status or the fact that she was left with only an old house when her father died. Perhaps there was an unspoken suspicion about a perverted family secret.
When Miss Emily became involved with a man named Homer Barron, the town let out a momentary sigh of relief, thinking finally she would be married and would no longer be a burden on the town. Even after Barron revealed to Miss Emily that he was homosexual, she pursued him. The town’s relief soon turned to disgust as it became clear that this was a less than holy union. As everyone but Emily realized Barron would never marry her, the town’s sympathy for Emily deepened. She seemed completely oblivious to the hopelessness of the relationship as she bought expensive gifts for the man who would never love her the way she loved him. This adds to the suspicion of abuse on the part of Emily’s father, as she seemed to be drawn to an extremely unhealthy relationship with a homosexual man. She seemed to be happiest during this twisted courtship. Perhaps because of a sick, wifely obligation to her father, she thrived in unhealthy relationships.
There was only one person who remained by Miss Emily’s side. He was a servant named Tobe, and though he is mentioned several times, the reader can only form theories about who he was and the role he played in Miss Emily’s life. He let Homer Barron into Miss Emily’s home the last time Barron was ever seen alive. When Miss Emily poisoned Barron with arsenic and left his body to decompose in her home, Tobe was there. When her neighbors began to complain to the mayor about the smell as the dead man’s body decayed in an upstairs room, Tobe was there. He was there until Miss Emily died, and the people of the town curiously came to see what was inside of her mysterious, old house. Before they kicked down the door of that cold, dark, upstairs room to discover the body of Homer Barron, Tobe quietly walked out the back door of the house, and was never seen again. Tobe may not have assisted Miss Emily in the murder of Barron, but it is hard to imagine that he didn’t know what she had done. Maybe it was out of the same sympathy and sense of obligation as the rest of the town, but Tobe was a loyal servant and he kept Miss Emily’s secret.
The concluding paragraphs of the story finally reveal what happened to Homer Barron after the people of Jefferson had believed for years that he had simply abandoned Miss Emily. Although she did take his life, it wasn’t a cold-blooded act of murder. When all the details of her life are considered, it is clear that she saw it as the only way to hold on to the man that she loved. There is no indication that she had a hand in her father’s death, but she attempted to hold on to his lifeless body the same way. Miss Emily wanted to spend her life with Homer Barron, and in a sick and twisted way, she did.
Mrs. S. Aiken
English 1102-45
October 2, 2009
Behind Closed Doors- What Happened to Miss Emily?
A lonely, frail, old woman had become so desperate for companionship that she laid in a cold, dark room, gazing into the hollow eyes of the fleshless skeleton that was all that remained of the man she loved. This is the haunting image that William Faulkner leaves his readers with in the backwards short story “A Rose for Emily.” He masterfully paints a vivid picture of a mysterious, complicated woman and the deteriorating house that mirrored her unfortunate life in a town called Jefferson. In this town, Emily Grierson became known as a “fallen monument” and an obligation following her father’s death. He had kept her isolated, unable to pursue relationships outside of her home all of her life. Although she didn’t show recognizable grief when he passed away, she refused to allow his body to be buried, insisting that he was not dead, until she was threatened with legal action. This illustrates Miss Emily’s declining mental health, which according to the story’s narrator (a Jefferson resident) ran in her family.
A sense of loyalty and obligation was put into place in 1894 by Jefferson’s Mayor, Colonel Sartoris. The old-fashioned and racist ideas of Colonel Sartoris faded over time, but the obligation to Miss Emily was passed down from generation to generation. Despite the sympathy the town seemed to hold for the woman after her over-bearing father died and left her only the house in which she resided, the younger generation was unhappy with the tax-exempt status Colonel Sartoris had granted her. They sent letters and visited her house in attempts to collect the taxes they felt she owed. Miss Emily insisted she owed nothing. She seemed to be stuck in the time of Colonel Sartoris’ term as Mayor, even challenging them to “See Colonel Sartoris,” even though the Colonel had been dead for nearly 10 years.
Not much information is given about Emily’s father, and what is said about him creates more questions than it answers. In a time when a woman’s value was not in the workplace, but in the home as a wife and mother, Emily’s father was resistant to Emily’s independence. He drove away all of her potential suitors, which the narrator attributes to the Grierson’s sense of superiority, despite the insanity that ran in the family. No mention is made of Miss Emily’s mother or any other female role model. The combination of psychiatric problems, unreasonably protective father, absent mother, and the strange way Miss Emily reacted to her father’s death leaves room for the reader to speculate. Perhaps there was some abuse, or even incest, between Emily and her father. It is possible that the town’s sense of obligation and sympathy for Emily was not only about her marital status or the fact that she was left with only an old house when her father died. Perhaps there was an unspoken suspicion about a perverted family secret.
When Miss Emily became involved with a man named Homer Barron, the town let out a momentary sigh of relief, thinking finally she would be married and would no longer be a burden on the town. Even after Barron revealed to Miss Emily that he was homosexual, she pursued him. The town’s relief soon turned to disgust as it became clear that this was a less than holy union. As everyone but Emily realized Barron would never marry her, the town’s sympathy for Emily deepened. She seemed completely oblivious to the hopelessness of the relationship as she bought expensive gifts for the man who would never love her the way she loved him. This adds to the suspicion of abuse on the part of Emily’s father, as she seemed to be drawn to an extremely unhealthy relationship with a homosexual man. She seemed to be happiest during this twisted courtship. Perhaps because of a sick, wifely obligation to her father, she thrived in unhealthy relationships.
There was only one person who remained by Miss Emily’s side. He was a servant named Tobe, and though he is mentioned several times, the reader can only form theories about who he was and the role he played in Miss Emily’s life. He let Homer Barron into Miss Emily’s home the last time Barron was ever seen alive. When Miss Emily poisoned Barron with arsenic and left his body to decompose in her home, Tobe was there. When her neighbors began to complain to the mayor about the smell as the dead man’s body decayed in an upstairs room, Tobe was there. He was there until Miss Emily died, and the people of the town curiously came to see what was inside of her mysterious, old house. Before they kicked down the door of that cold, dark, upstairs room to discover the body of Homer Barron, Tobe quietly walked out the back door of the house, and was never seen again. Tobe may not have assisted Miss Emily in the murder of Barron, but it is hard to imagine that he didn’t know what she had done. Maybe it was out of the same sympathy and sense of obligation as the rest of the town, but Tobe was a loyal servant and he kept Miss Emily’s secret.
The concluding paragraphs of the story finally reveal what happened to Homer Barron after the people of Jefferson had believed for years that he had simply abandoned Miss Emily. Although she did take his life, it wasn’t a cold-blooded act of murder. When all the details of her life are considered, it is clear that she saw it as the only way to hold on to the man that she loved. There is no indication that she had a hand in her father’s death, but she attempted to hold on to his lifeless body the same way. Miss Emily wanted to spend her life with Homer Barron, and in a sick and twisted way, she did.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
The Weight of Emotional Burdens in "The Things They Carried" (Edited)
April McCleary
Mrs. S. Aiken
English 1102-45
September 9, 2009
The Weight of Emotional Burdens in “The Things They Carried”
In the unforgivable jungle of Vietnam, young soldiers are forced to carry heavy artillery and supplies. Still these frightened men choose to take on the additional weight of pictures, letters, and other things that remind them of home. These things can be weighed in pounds and ounces. However, the emotional burdens Tim O’Brien describes in “The Things They Carried” are the most difficult weights they have to bear.
O’Brien lists the required supplies carried by all of the soldiers and gives examples of the personal things each soldier chooses "to hump," which means "to march" or "to walk" (1037). Interestingly though, there is little mention of the specific war gear carried by the main character in the story, Lieutenant Jimmy Cross. O’Brien gives great detail of the internal, emotional struggles that weigh so heavily on the Lieutenant. Cross physically carries letters, photographs and a “simple pebble, an ounce at most,” all given to him by a junior at Mount Sebastian College, named Martha (O’Brien 1039).
Paragraph after paragraph details the practical items, such as the three pairs of socks and Dr. Scholl’s foot powder carried by Dave Jenson, along with the more untraditional items like the “premium dope” carried by Ted Lavender, who O’Brien describes as “scared” (1036-1037). Between the long lists of things the Lieutenant’s men carry with them are beautifully detailed descriptions of Cross’ uncontrollable thoughts and fantasies about Martha, and his deep love for her.
O’Brien doesn’t offer as much detail into the emotional baggage carried by Cross’ men, but certain conclusions can be drawn from the information he does give. Another character, Kiowa, is described as a “devout Baptist” who carries a copy of the Old Testament, which was given to him by his father (O’Brien 1037). He is also carries the tremendous weight of “his grandmother’s distrust for the white man” and a hunting hatchet (O’Brien 1037). These emotional and physical items suggest that Kiowa, who is Native American, struggles to put the necessary trust into his fellow soldiers, as a result of his upbringing.
Ted Lavender, in reaction to his fear, takes Tranquilizers and smokes dope. O’Brien refers to these items as necessities, which implies that Lavender has developed a drug addiction. Dave Jensen, who carries extra socks, foot powder, ear plugs and high carotene vitamins, seems to have an overwhelming fear of disease. Mitchell Sanders carries condoms, which doesn’t offer much insight, however, he is also the soldier who cuts the thumb off of a young Vietcong and gives it to an otherwise gentle soldier, Norman Bowker (O’Brien 1042). The act of cutting off a young boy’s thumb and then kicking him in the head indicates that Sanders is struggling with some emotional instability, and a lack of respect for life. These issues may be a direct result of the war, or may have been present earlier in his life.
The effects of these emotional struggles is illustrated by Cross’ inability to control his daydreams about Martha. He finds himself unable to focus on the dangers around him. Even as Lee Strunk is searching the tunnels in Than Khe, facing unknown dangers, Lieutenant Cross loses himself in an elaborate daydream. Immediately after Strunk emerges from the tunnel, Ted Lavender is shot and killed by a sniper.
After Lavender’s death, the men sit and smoke his dope as they wait for the chopper to arrive. During this time, Cross begins to think of Martha again, but this time he realizes his inability to control his thoughts is a problem. Although it is unlikely that Cross’ lack of focus had anything to do with this tragedy, he is riddled with guilt when he realizes his love for Martha interfered with his duties as first lieutenant and platoon leader.
Some of the men, like Sanders, deal with the emotional strain of Lavender’s death by making jokes. Kiowa talks endlessly of the way Lavender fell when he was shot. He tells Bowker Lavender fell “like cement” (O’Brien 1044). When there is no one left to talk to, Kiowa returns to the familiar comfort of his Bible.
O’Brien puts a lot of emphasis on the weight of the physical items the soldiers have to carry. Some weigh only a few ounces while others weigh over 20 pounds. The task of carrying the combined weight of these items is hard to imagine. Still, considering the endless danger they face in Vietnam, the emotional baggage each man carries is a much heavier burden. “Grief, terror, love, longing- these were intangibles, but the intangibles had their own mass and specific gravity, they had tangible weight” (O’Brien 1046). Long after the heavy artillery is lifted from their shoulders, the emotional scars will remain. The experience of the war itself is a weight the soldiers who survive will have to carry with them for the rest of their lives.
Works Cited
Tim O’Brien. “The Things They Carried.” Literature The Human Experience. Richard Abcarian and Marvin Klotz. Massachusetts: Bedford/St. Martins, 2007. 1037-1049.
Mrs. S. Aiken
English 1102-45
September 9, 2009
The Weight of Emotional Burdens in “The Things They Carried”
In the unforgivable jungle of Vietnam, young soldiers are forced to carry heavy artillery and supplies. Still these frightened men choose to take on the additional weight of pictures, letters, and other things that remind them of home. These things can be weighed in pounds and ounces. However, the emotional burdens Tim O’Brien describes in “The Things They Carried” are the most difficult weights they have to bear.
O’Brien lists the required supplies carried by all of the soldiers and gives examples of the personal things each soldier chooses "to hump," which means "to march" or "to walk" (1037). Interestingly though, there is little mention of the specific war gear carried by the main character in the story, Lieutenant Jimmy Cross. O’Brien gives great detail of the internal, emotional struggles that weigh so heavily on the Lieutenant. Cross physically carries letters, photographs and a “simple pebble, an ounce at most,” all given to him by a junior at Mount Sebastian College, named Martha (O’Brien 1039).
Paragraph after paragraph details the practical items, such as the three pairs of socks and Dr. Scholl’s foot powder carried by Dave Jenson, along with the more untraditional items like the “premium dope” carried by Ted Lavender, who O’Brien describes as “scared” (1036-1037). Between the long lists of things the Lieutenant’s men carry with them are beautifully detailed descriptions of Cross’ uncontrollable thoughts and fantasies about Martha, and his deep love for her.
O’Brien doesn’t offer as much detail into the emotional baggage carried by Cross’ men, but certain conclusions can be drawn from the information he does give. Another character, Kiowa, is described as a “devout Baptist” who carries a copy of the Old Testament, which was given to him by his father (O’Brien 1037). He is also carries the tremendous weight of “his grandmother’s distrust for the white man” and a hunting hatchet (O’Brien 1037). These emotional and physical items suggest that Kiowa, who is Native American, struggles to put the necessary trust into his fellow soldiers, as a result of his upbringing.
Ted Lavender, in reaction to his fear, takes Tranquilizers and smokes dope. O’Brien refers to these items as necessities, which implies that Lavender has developed a drug addiction. Dave Jensen, who carries extra socks, foot powder, ear plugs and high carotene vitamins, seems to have an overwhelming fear of disease. Mitchell Sanders carries condoms, which doesn’t offer much insight, however, he is also the soldier who cuts the thumb off of a young Vietcong and gives it to an otherwise gentle soldier, Norman Bowker (O’Brien 1042). The act of cutting off a young boy’s thumb and then kicking him in the head indicates that Sanders is struggling with some emotional instability, and a lack of respect for life. These issues may be a direct result of the war, or may have been present earlier in his life.
The effects of these emotional struggles is illustrated by Cross’ inability to control his daydreams about Martha. He finds himself unable to focus on the dangers around him. Even as Lee Strunk is searching the tunnels in Than Khe, facing unknown dangers, Lieutenant Cross loses himself in an elaborate daydream. Immediately after Strunk emerges from the tunnel, Ted Lavender is shot and killed by a sniper.
After Lavender’s death, the men sit and smoke his dope as they wait for the chopper to arrive. During this time, Cross begins to think of Martha again, but this time he realizes his inability to control his thoughts is a problem. Although it is unlikely that Cross’ lack of focus had anything to do with this tragedy, he is riddled with guilt when he realizes his love for Martha interfered with his duties as first lieutenant and platoon leader.
Some of the men, like Sanders, deal with the emotional strain of Lavender’s death by making jokes. Kiowa talks endlessly of the way Lavender fell when he was shot. He tells Bowker Lavender fell “like cement” (O’Brien 1044). When there is no one left to talk to, Kiowa returns to the familiar comfort of his Bible.
O’Brien puts a lot of emphasis on the weight of the physical items the soldiers have to carry. Some weigh only a few ounces while others weigh over 20 pounds. The task of carrying the combined weight of these items is hard to imagine. Still, considering the endless danger they face in Vietnam, the emotional baggage each man carries is a much heavier burden. “Grief, terror, love, longing- these were intangibles, but the intangibles had their own mass and specific gravity, they had tangible weight” (O’Brien 1046). Long after the heavy artillery is lifted from their shoulders, the emotional scars will remain. The experience of the war itself is a weight the soldiers who survive will have to carry with them for the rest of their lives.
Works Cited
Tim O’Brien. “The Things They Carried.” Literature The Human Experience. Richard Abcarian and Marvin Klotz. Massachusetts: Bedford/St. Martins, 2007. 1037-1049.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Through the Eyes of a Toddler
Overcast and humid, the day offers no motivation. With a deep sigh, I begin my daily chores. As I push my mop through the kitchen, my mind wanders. I forgot to bring snacks to my two-year old's school this morning. They put a note on his bag to remind me that this was my week to provide them. "They must think I'm a terrible mother...unorganized, often late..."
I hear a heavy sigh behind me. My toddler is following me with his little play mop, and has a look of dispair on his face. I catch a glimpse of my reflection in a mirror on the wall. "Wow, his expression matches my own." I smile as I squat down beside him.
"What's wrong bugger," I ask, in the happiest voice I can manufacture.
His face brightens up instantly, "What's wrong bugger," he responds with delight.
His smile melts my heart. He grabs my hand and drops his mop on the kitchen floor.
"Play cars, Mommy?" He asks me.
How can I say no to such a sweet face? He looks up at me, hoping I will take the time to play with him. He doesn't care if the floor is mopped, or the mantle is dusted. To my toddler, a little bit of my undivided attention is valued above all else, and nothing is more important than playtime. If I could only see the world through the eyes of a two-year old sometimes, my life would probably be much more enjoyable. I look around. The house is a mess. But I realize my youngest child will grow just as quickly as his older siblings. Soon he will cringe at my kisses and prefer his friends to me. As I am led to a colorful "Cars" rug on the living room floor, I think about all the time I spend doing things that aren't all that important in the scheme of things. I wonder how many times I have missed the opportunity to make a memory with one of my kids. "Play cars," I smile at my little boy, and I sit on his rug beside him. "Vroom Vroom."
Yeah, the house is a mess. It was a mess yesterday, and it will be a mess tomorrow. Because right now, I have a date with an adorable little two-year old, and a bucket of matchbox cars.
I hear a heavy sigh behind me. My toddler is following me with his little play mop, and has a look of dispair on his face. I catch a glimpse of my reflection in a mirror on the wall. "Wow, his expression matches my own." I smile as I squat down beside him.
"What's wrong bugger," I ask, in the happiest voice I can manufacture.
His face brightens up instantly, "What's wrong bugger," he responds with delight.
His smile melts my heart. He grabs my hand and drops his mop on the kitchen floor.
"Play cars, Mommy?" He asks me.
How can I say no to such a sweet face? He looks up at me, hoping I will take the time to play with him. He doesn't care if the floor is mopped, or the mantle is dusted. To my toddler, a little bit of my undivided attention is valued above all else, and nothing is more important than playtime. If I could only see the world through the eyes of a two-year old sometimes, my life would probably be much more enjoyable. I look around. The house is a mess. But I realize my youngest child will grow just as quickly as his older siblings. Soon he will cringe at my kisses and prefer his friends to me. As I am led to a colorful "Cars" rug on the living room floor, I think about all the time I spend doing things that aren't all that important in the scheme of things. I wonder how many times I have missed the opportunity to make a memory with one of my kids. "Play cars," I smile at my little boy, and I sit on his rug beside him. "Vroom Vroom."
Yeah, the house is a mess. It was a mess yesterday, and it will be a mess tomorrow. Because right now, I have a date with an adorable little two-year old, and a bucket of matchbox cars.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
